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Joke of the Day

"[2005, youtube's first pitch meeting] ok so basicaly its like if america's funniest home videos was on 24 hrs a day on evrey computer-- SOLD"

"My top 3 assumptions when doorbell rings: 1. Murderer 2. Police telling me everyone is dead 3. That book I ordered about positive thinking"

"The whole Greek Mythology could be summed up in one line............ ""Unfortunately, Zeus was feeling a bit too horny."""

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock? you can't fuck a rock"

"What's Jared's favorite Subway bread? Italian Herbs and Child Pornography."

"Mommy mommy what happened to all your scabs ...[NSFL] Shut up and eat your corn flakes!"

"I don't always drink.... What were we talking about again?"

"What type of blood does a keyboard have? Typo"

"""prepare for battle"" they said Yet they didnt prepare themselves"

"There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I'm supposed to stop reading the internet."