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Joke of the Day

"My grandpa said ""your life revolves too much around technology. Then I said, ""no, yours does."" Then I unplugged his life support. EDIT: Came back from school to this! R.I.P Inbox!"

"""I wanna know who is responsible for this!"" nn-Me to my parents, while pointing at myself."

"[A Dad about to give the birds & the bees talk] ""Son, when-"" *Watches son try to poke a Capri Sun for 35 minutes* ""Know what, we're good"""

"What's the opposite of effort? F it."

"There are only two types of people I hate in this world... Racists and black people."

"Only and only when a mosquito lands on your balls do you realize there are some problems that can be solved without violence :)"

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave till it's Bill Withers."

"Do you know why the Circus industry might go bankrupt? If Donald Trump gets elected, the entire world will just need to listen to the news for a free circus."

"What does Michael Bolton say when he walks into an elevator? ""This place rocks!"""

"Which way did the programmer go? He went data way."