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Joke of the Day

"""I wanna know who is responsible for this!"" nn-Me to my parents, while pointing at myself."

"If I was a villain, I would follow superheroes to their normal human interviews for jobs & note what they answer as their biggest weaknesses"

"Why is toilet paper no good for wrapping presents? Cos it's tear-able."

"My friend was the best at Russian Roulette. He only lost once."

"My wife said she wanted to die naturally. So I shot her and she died, naturally."

"Hell hath no fury like a pizza pocket that hasn't had proper cooling time."

"Why are anorexic people cannibals? Because they're always putting their fingers in their mouths."

"The problem of guns in schools would be eliminated if society finally had the courage to outlaw schools."

"My phone battery can last longer than most relationships these days."

"A sarcastic thumbs-up is a good substitute for the middle finger."