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Joke of the Day

"Why do the versions of Windows jump from 8 to 10? Because no one wanted Windows Nein!"

"[job interview] How would you improve our business? ""Dude, I'd bankrupt you in a week. I'm just catchin Pokemon in your office."""

"What do you call a man who used to like tractors? An extractor fan!"

"Pokemon Go is just like Grindr... but for kids. And you try and catch Pokemon instead of catching AIDS."

"The Queen shouted at some pigeons and they died. Talk about killing two birds with one's tone."

"Old classic light bulb. How many people on a beach does it take to screw in a light bulb? depends on how many survivors there are. too soon."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I wouldn't pay good money to see a lentil."

"Two months ago my best friend took off with my wife. And god damnit, I miss him."

"I WISH I WAS DUMBER SO I DIDNT REALIZE THE SUBTLE HORRORS OF THE UNIVERSE"

"How do rainbows laugh? Hue hue hue"