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Joke of the Day
"The Queen shouted at some pigeons and they died. Talk about killing two birds with one's tone."
Next Joke
"You show me a piano falling down,a mine shaft, and I'll show you A flat miner."
"Drug companies are like high school boyfriends They're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they get in there. - Credit to John Oliver"
"[Witness Protection Program] So the more ordinary, mundane your new name is, the easier it'll be to blend into your new- BUBBLENUTS McFUNKY!"
"Why can't you tell when a Pteradactyl goes to the toilet? Because the P is silent."
"Well, they warned me that I'd go blind if I kept doing that... Sitting too close to the TV."
"WebMD says pregnancy symptoms are fatigue, tender breasts, irritability, cravings, and headaches. All chicks are pregnant. All. The. Time."
"I've snagged so many catfish on dating sites, I'm now a licensed fisherman."
"I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility."
"""Say, farmer....."" Traveling Salesman: ""Say, farmer, where does that road go to?"" Farmer: ""Well, I lived here all my life, it ain't gone nowhere yet."""