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Joke of the Day

"Would've totally banged this chick at the bar, but I noticed she had a crooked pinkie toe. Better luck with someone without standards,babe."

"What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel? A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters"

"Economists... If all the economists in the world were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion."

"Friends from school are like hot dogs You have them because they're there, not because you love them"

"A shipment of Viagra was hijacked on the way to the depot. The police have warned the public to be on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals."

"Why is Kim Jong-un so hungry? Because hes got no Sole!"

"So that's what ""Tiger blood"" means!"

"Wait! What?! The subway is flooded? WHAT ABOUT THE NINJA TURTLES?! *prays*"

"If a Rastaman ever wants to tell you a story... Don't bother, they just Babylon."

"I like my woman like I like my coffee... Smuggled in a sack from Colombia"