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Joke of the Day

"I met a guy with a tattoo on his penis that said ""Shorty"". When he got an erection, it said ""Shorty's Truck Stop Chattanooga, Tennessee""."

"What type of knot do you tie in space? An astronaut."

"I parked in the ""C"" section of the parking lot. So, naturally, I had to climb out of the sunroof."

"What is a British person's favorite cereal? Cheerios. say it in a British accent"

"Why don't communists ever learn? Because there are no classes."

"Survey I asked 100 women what brand of shampoo they use while showering. 99 out of those 100 answered : ""How the fuck did you get in here you asshole!?!"""

"*Throws all 900 baby items in garbage* *Buys Magic 8 Ball* *Whispers*, This is how we raise you now."

"Today i learned that dolphins are the only animals other than humans that enjoy sex! I'm not sure if it was worth getting banned from all those zoo's to find out though"

"What did the depressed terrorist say to the passengers on the plane he hijacked? I'm sorry to bring you all down."

"Will carrying a torch save you from an attacking bear? Depends on how fast you can carry it."