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Joke of the Day

"A doctor amputated a hand on a patient and the doctor said to the patient ""on the other hand... you aren't disabled"""

"Girls spend a lot of time explaining how they never do the thing they just did."

"Whats the difference between acne and a Priest? Acne doesn't cum on a boys face until he is 13."

"There might be plenty of good food choices in College.. .. but you can't Top Ramen"

"""I'm in international waters, your damn laws can't touch me"" I scream to the police as I dog paddle naked in my neighbors swimming pool."

"What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray? HDMI"

"He tripped, and the laundry basket fell to floor, spilling clothes everywhere. I sat back and watched it all unfold."

"Kid: Waaaahhhhh! MY TOY IS BROKEN! Dad: Nothing a little duct tape can't fix. Kid: mrnm... mmrm.. rnmr..."

"2 words can open up many doors in your life. Push and Pull"

"What do rodents say when they play bingo ? 'Eyes down for a full mouse' !"