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Joke of the Day
"Why did the veggie band sound horrible live? Because they were missing a beet."
Next Joke
"Why do scuba divers jump off the boat backwards? Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat."
"I joined a cribbage cult recently They practice peggin' rituals"
"People who live in glass houses must have to clean up a lot of dead birds."
"How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One."
"How do you know when your best friend is gay? When his dick tastes like shit"
"""My phone's about to die."" -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call."
"A post at night is like a land mine You have to happen upon it to blow on"
"Time for a joke. ""Dad, how do you feel about abortions?"" ""Well, why don't you ask your sister?"" ""But I don't have a..."""
"ELEVATOR SHOES Q: What's yellow and goes up and down? A: A banana in an elevator."