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Joke of the Day

"Why did the veggie band sound horrible live? Because they were missing a beet."

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Juan."

"In a recent football game, a player sustained injuries, and the manager was fired after sending on the wrong player to replace him. Whoops, wrong sub."

"I am one of the best fortune tellers in the world. My predictions are accurate 99.9999% of the time. I can predict your future fortune right now. You won't be winning the lottery anytime soon."

"On Family Guy, why is the Griffen's internet so slow? They only have one meg."

"It's impossible to embarrass me because once the door opens on you while you're pooping on an amtrak train, you become untouchable"

"I'm human, but I never got to go to space. Dogs and monkeys *aren't human, but they did. That's the gist of my lawsuit against NASA."

"Vagina jokes aren't funny... Period."

"What is west saharan favourite number? Data not avalible."

"Why did Jesus walk on water? Because niggas can't swim"