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Joke of the Day
"Girls spend a lot of time explaining how they never do the thing they just did."
Next Joke
"Angel: ""I think we can all agree that 6 is enough."" God (clearly upset about something else): ""NO. GIVE SPIDERS 8 LEGS."""
"Me: ""If Americans say 'sidewalk', what do we mean in England?"" My six year old: ""Crab!"""
"Why did Richard leave his home this morning? For Harambe."
"Do you know why the USSR fell nearly overnight? Because they stopped Stalin and were Russian!"
"Super Mario Brothers left me with highly unrealistic expectations of how exciting a career in plumbing would be."
"If uncle Jack helps you off an elephant ...would you help your uncle Jack off an elephant?"
"What do you call the bad part of Italy? The spaghetto."
"What is the difference between a group of Pygmy riddlers and a lesbian track team? One is a group of cunning runts and the other is a group of running cunts."
"A muslim says Bismillah to ward away the three jinns (xpost from r/islam) Two hydrjinns and one oxyjinn."