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Joke of the Day

"Some guy robbed a local gas station and stole $700 worth of cigarettes. I wonder what he'll do with both packs."

"Officer: have you been drinking? Me: no sir 0: you were swerving M: Twitter O: oh, I'm on Twitter what's your handle M: yes, I was drinking"

"Official Adrian Peterson Joke Thread Submit your best AP jokes and get upvotes. Easy enough, eh?"

"While I might feel unsure how to react, my middle finger is well versed in handling stupid people."

"I don't even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullshit."

"How many cats does it take for a woman to qualify as a ""crazy cat lady?"" None. Just a couple of youtube cat videos."

"I can't believe carotene is STILL in its beta phase."

"Why did Moses part his hair? To make a path for the Israelice."

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds"

"*offers Batman cough drops*"