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Joke of the Day
"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds"
Next Joke
"Cakeday special - what did the Chinese gangster do? Made him an offer he couldn't understand"
"Sarah Millican just called Stephen Hawking a good sport."
"I'm only 19 and my eyesight is constantly getting worse. When do I get Adult Supervision?"
"When I see a guy sleeping on an unfolded cardboard box, I never know if he's homeless or just tired from breakdancing."
"A funny knock knock joke I've heard awhile ago... *knock* *knock* who's there? Doctor Doctor who? ...exactly!"
"A Spanish magician is performing a trick. He says ""I will disappear in Uno, Dos... -"" He vanished without a tres."
"[Murderer in the middle of murdering me] Can you put your phone down for 2 seconds while I'm murdering you I mean really"
"Unicorn: Come on man, do it just one more time. Dragon: This is the last time. Unicorn: Hell yeah! Dragon: [toasts unicorns marshmallow]"
"The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains is great news for stupid people."