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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why is Clinton prone to losing his voice? A: He keeps having to eat his words."

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"Why doesn't Achilles have any scars? His wounds always heel."
"the 7 dwarves got into a hot tub they all started feeling happy so he got out"
"Having a mustache is a great way to stop people from drawing a mustache on you in permanent marker while you sleep."
"""That's me in a nutshell."" A peanut's photo album."
"Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'll just let it go."
"Around me, girls tend to lie when they're drunk... Especially on their back"
"The doctor says I cut my sentences short."
"What do ghosts get arrested for? Possession."
"Why do people who live near Niagara Falls have flat foreheads? Because every morning they wake up thinking ""What *is* that noise? Oh, right, *of course* !"""