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Joke of the Day
"Around me, girls tend to lie when they're drunk... Especially on their back"
Next Joke
"They say not to go to the grocery store when you're hungry, but I ran out of food and few days ago, and it's just getting worse. :("
"Dogs are great for meeting girls. Pack of dogs attack a girl she's gonna need to go to a hospital. Who's gonna drive her? That's right. You."
"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims, they went through 110 stories in 4 seconds"
"Want to hear something funny? Women's Rights."
"In All Fairness To Bellichick and Brady Balls do shrink when it's cold"
"I hear voices in my head sometimes. I just ignore them and keep killing people."
"Why would Donald Trump make a great addition to The Walking Dead? All he wants to do is build a wall."
"So a deer walks out of the woods and says... That's the last time I will ever do that for two bucks"
"INTERVIEWER: You put ""summoning demons"" as a special skill? ME: That's right. INTERVIEWER: *sweating profusely* When can you start?"