157871

Joke of the Day

"[waking from 10 yr coma] Where am I? ""Don't worry. You're home in America"" But...I'm Swedish! ""World Emperor Trump will explain everything"""

"What do you get when you cross a turd and a mailbox? Shitpost."

"Whenever I drink whiskey, I turn into Kermit the Frog. I start talking funny, I turn green, and then I end up fucking a fat pig"

"sticks and stones may break my bones but if you say the right words i'd probably break my own bones too"

"I was catfished once For thirty years Pluto had me convinced he was a planet..."

"Now I can't wear my nude crystal dress this weekend. Thanks, Rihanna."

"What lottery did the broom win? The sweepstakes."

"What do you do with an epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad"

"Two toilets go to a potty lol"

"Why don't hat store owners and pet shop owner get along? Because you can't be a fan of hat care and cat hair."