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Joke of the Day

"sticks and stones may break my bones but if you say the right words i'd probably break my own bones too"

"Whenever I'm nervous on a business call, I just envision the person on the other end of the phone as a muppet."

"It's hard to explain things to kleptomaniacs They always take things literally."

"""Pilot season"" in Hollywood is when TV networks pay writers millions of dollars to think of ways people could move in together."

"They say that penis size is directly related to shoe size. Which makes the fear of being raped by a clown that much scarier."

"What do Anne Frank and Bin Laden have in common? They're both hide and seek champions!"

"I'll bet Vampire Kiddies enjoy scabs as much as human Kids love pudding skin"

"What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold unto your nuts-This is no ordinary Blow Job!"

"Brew coffee. Chill coffee. Use coffee instead of water to make Twice-Brewed Coffee. Win Nobel Prize. Begin to glow, levitate. Eat building."

"What do you call a Canadian Spy Agency? The CIEh"