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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I drink whiskey, I turn into Kermit the Frog. I start talking funny, I turn green, and then I end up fucking a fat pig"

"My internet goes at 20mb per second... wonder how much faster it goes per first!"

"Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless? He doesn't have a Seoul."

"What does the bee Santa Claus say ? Ho hum hum !"

"How do the people of northern Iraq manage to get so much done? The Kurds have their ways"

"If I had a time machine, I'd go back in time to just before a famous person was supposed to be assassinated and borrow money from them."

"A termite walks into a bar... And he says, ""where is the bartender?"""

"THE XBOX IS BEING ATTACKED! Here Comes The Ambulance Wii U Wii U Wii U"

"Immortality would suck. I don't want to spend the next 800 years trying to explain Gangnam Style to my great-grandfather."

"Sikh turban dude"