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Joke of the Day

"A neutron went into a bar and asked the bartender, ""How much for a beer?"" The bartender replied, ""For you, no charge."""

"I hate when you tell someone you're bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you're not quite that bored"

"Why is Texas the ""Lone Star"" state? It was rated out of five."

"Did you head about the rabbi who only drank lemonade? He's an acidic Jew...."

"What is green and slimy and smells like bacon? Kermit the frog's finger..."

"[Ancient Egypt job centre] - Name? ""Ankhesenamun"" - How do you spell that? ""Reed comb water Ankh, bendy straw water shitting priest"""

"An Irishman walks out of a bar..."

"The first person who pulled an egg out from under a chicken's ass and ate it must have been really fucking hungry."

"What's the most encouraging calisthenic? Chin-ups!"

"When my wife and I have a disagreement, I always have the last word... usually it's, ""Yes Dear"""