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Joke of the Day

"I hate when you tell someone you're bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you're not quite that bored"

"Why do ducks try to avoid eating out? They're always stuck with a bill."

"Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids? He can't get to 3rd base"

"Top Gun was so unrealistic Everyone knows Tom Cruise can't reach the clutch on a motorcycle"

"How do Asian's name their children? Throw a frying pan down the stairs and listen to the sounds. *Ting tong tow*"

"A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads... Sandwich: $5.00 Handjob: $10.00 Repost a joke the next day: 1500 up votes Now, please, wash your hands and make me a sandwich."

"My phone battery can last longer than most relationships these days."

"Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids? Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel."

"a friend told me i look like james taylor just after he went bald ;("

"this is your brain *an egg* this is your brain on drugs *egg in frying pan* this is your brain skateboarding *egg on a skateboard* haha nice"