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Joke of the Day

"Can't wait til Feb. 15th...otherwise known as 1/2 price chocolate day."

"Why should Trump be careful of deporting Mexicans? It could go south so fast."

"A good name for a dog would be syndrome. Because then you could say down, syndrome. -courtesy of norm macdonald ;)"

"I'm not proud of this, but if the price is right, I'll buy your high school kid alcohol."

"When women cry, their faces look like half-chewed Starbursts."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding I'm not going to be that guy"

"what's th difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? the refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out."

"I am a simple man with simple jokes. A tumblrite came up to me and told me I needed to respect her being a pansexual. I said ""why do you want to fuck bread? You'll get a yeast infection."""

"ARCTIC HOOKER Q: What is a hooker in Alaska called? A: A frostitute."

"Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."