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Joke of the Day

"I am a simple man with simple jokes. A tumblrite came up to me and told me I needed to respect her being a pansexual. I said ""why do you want to fuck bread? You'll get a yeast infection."""

Next Joke
 
"[on date] Here, let me help you with your jacket! *i gently remove her jacket* This is mine now. Cya"
"I obtained this username today. Apparently I'm the only one."
"Do you know why bicycles fall over? Because they are two-tired."
"Did you hear about the casino croupier whose hand, through a tragic accident, was reduced to a stub? Don't worry, he's dealing with it."
"Are you guys alright? No you are all left."
"I refer to ""porno"" movies as ""regular"" movies not ""adult"" movies. And I refer to non-porno movies as ""Christian kids"" films."
"What did Bobby Mcferrin say to his beer? Don't worry, be hoppy :)"
"People used to think George Washington was antisocial. But he just wasn't a party person."
"TIFU by assigning a temporary history teacher to a math class Oops, wrong sub"