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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding I'm not going to be that guy"

"I've been dating a girl online who I think might be a Catfish. Every time I try to meet, her excuse is that she ""can't survive on dry land."""

"Why don't little girls stay out late? Because Jared likes to eat fresh"

"This cab driver is THE WORST. I keep telling him ""You passed my house, let me out"" & he's all like ""Sir I'm a cop and your under arrest for public nudity and intoxication."""

"I go to a muscular dystrophy support group. We meet weakly."

"Why did the cannibal get indigestion after eating his high school debate team rival? He ate something that disagreed with him"

"A new sickness has been found and researchers report it infects only the nose. According to them, this is a full-blown disease."

"In Russia, if you're blue, and you don't where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits: Putin on the Ritz"

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. Hide all that weed because police lights are too."

"I let a Jehovahs Witness in my home, I sat him down and said, 'what do you have to tell me?' he said, 'I don't know, never made it this far'"