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Joke of the Day

"Hard to believe it's 2017 I'm still writing ""this is a nightmare fuck everything omg"" on my checks."

"What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands? A pocket watch."

"My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records.... But then the librarian told me to take it out..."

"In a blind taste test ...Stevie Wonder was delicious"

"What church do hypocrites belong to? All of them."

"Why can't bears get jobs in Australia? They don't have the right koalfications!"

"So a termite walks into a bar. He then proceeds to ask, ""where's the bar tender""?"

"Did you hear about the boxer who became a comedian? Turns out he was pretty good at delivering punchlines. *I'm sorry*"

"I used to make jokes about people with butter fingers; stopped 'cause they couldn't handle it."

"[Checking in at Comic Con] Attendant: How long did you spend on your cosplay? Me: Seven months A: *Hands me a badge marked ""Casual""*"