157031

Joke of the Day

"""Saying hot is disrespectful. You should say beautiful instead."" ""Fine. Can you pass me the beautiful sauce then?"""

"It's that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year."

"Why should you know who is the bride at an Irish wedding? Because that's the one you're *not* allowed to punch in the face."

"After this week, Donald Trump is so angry at the theater that ... he's going to build a 4th Wall."

"if you ever wanna impress a girl just bring a baby on your date and then basically just outperform the baby at everything it's really easy"

"When I die, I hope Bethesda lowers my coffin into the ground. So they can let me down one last time."

"what do you call a fly with no wings? A walk"

"I forgot my baby was in the backseat of my car and I accidentally threw my case of beer on him He was ok though. It was light beer."

"What did the ghost say to the prostitute? You're a horror!"

"I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine, he gets better with age..... The next day, she locked me in the cellar."