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Joke of the Day
"Me: So, you come here often? Him: .....we're in my house."
Next Joke
"My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save."
"Why did they fire Victoria? Was she keeping secrets? What is Victoria's Secret?"
"In my experience, less than 40% of people wearing ""Duke"" sweatshirts are actual dukes"
"To the twenty something year old girls who think forty something year old women are jealous of them- enjoy your next 240 periods!"
"Q: Did I ever tell you the story about the broken pencil? A: It had no point."
"What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day? He always came on time."
"What do you call a roman emperor with epilepsy? Julius Seizure"
"Want to hear a funny abortion joke? Sorry, couldn't conceive one."
"I lost one of mom's Tupperware at work and now I'm looking for a new family to adopt me."