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Joke of the Day
"Q: Did I ever tell you the story about the broken pencil? A: It had no point."
Next Joke
"Truthful Tuesday: The last time I had sex, I was so excited afterward I fired my musket skyward, alerting the Confederates to our presence."
"I guess knocking on random dressing room doors in a department store and asking ""hey, can I see how you look?"" is frowned upon."
"Have you guys heard my joke about elevators? It's funny on multiple levels"
"Bill Cosby and Ben Roethlisberger walk into a bar... I don't remember what happened next."
"What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a wall? My dick while doing it."
"Joe Biden is in the White House kitchen right now licking every piece of silverware and putting them back in the drawer"
"Text from niece: I'm board! M: Perhaps you could work on your spelling. N: Wat?"
"Things I use my car for, from most to least: 1)Tweeting while parked 2)Snacking 3)Transporting bugs that can fly but are lazy 4)Driving"
"How do you stop water from running? Don't pay the water bill."