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Joke of the Day

"In my experience, less than 40% of people wearing ""Duke"" sweatshirts are actual dukes"

"Some might say I peed my pants. I like to say I voided my bladder into my trousers like the classy refined gentleman that I am. #bt140"

"An owl and a mouse are sitting on a branch when a farmer walks by below. The owl turns to the mouse and says nothing. Because owls can't speak. The owl then eats the mouse because it's a bird of prey."

"Whenever I shoot something into the trash, I yell ""Kobe!"" But then, my friend follows up by yelling ""Jack!"" I don't get what he's trying to say, but he sure is acting cheesy."

"What do you call a Mexican midget lady? Cuntswaylow"

"You will feel dumb when we find out the guy who headshotted Harambe was from the future trying to prevent Planet of the Apes.."

"""I'm sure if I show my gf my Twitter, she'll understand it's just for fun."" Said a bunch of now single guys."

"Why do rogues wear leather armoe? Because it's made of hide."

"Why did God have no sense of humor when putting the planets in order? because he didn't want to put Uranus at the end of the solar system"

"What do you call a Polish chicken stuck in a tree? Poll tree!"