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Joke of the Day

"Some people say ""If you can't beat them, join them"". I say ""If you can't beat them, beat them"", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise."

Next Joke
 
"Starbucks Employees at Starbucks hate me...probably because I never buy anything when I go there just to take a dump."
"If you're ever cold go stand in a corner... ...and SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"
"Got my ass fucking handed to me at Candyland again today by my 3 year-old. This decade is going to SUCK."
"The place I store my loud elf Shhh elf"
"I just read an article in the newspaper about how 60% of adults still live with their parents. I was like ""OMG Mum did you read this???"""
"Did you hear about the competition between Volvo and the other Swedish car manufacturer? It's all just a Saab story, really."
"Women have closets full of I have nothing to wear.'"
"I was laying on my SO's chest and commented on how comfortable it was... And she hits me with a ""It's like it's MAMMorey foam!"" line. I was quite impressed."
"A magician walks into a gay bar and disappears with a poof."