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Joke of the Day

"I was laying on my SO's chest and commented on how comfortable it was... And she hits me with a ""It's like it's MAMMorey foam!"" line. I was quite impressed."

"if you can't put two and two together you might actually enjoy the plot of the new star wars movie"

"why do the ladies love jesus? *spreads arms wide* because he was hung like this"

"Did you hear about the movie ""Constipation""? ... It never came out..."

"Why did the dwarf go out of business? The overheads were too high."

"Are you cold? (Yes) Then go sit in a corner, cause it's 90 degrees."

"Pimples on teenagers are asterisks on things they say* *Listener discretion is advised"

"""This tofu tastes like chicken."" No one believes you dude."

"Two cans of Red Bull may give you x-ray vision, but five cans give you the ability to hear oxygen."

"What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in, Robin."