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Joke of the Day

"So my freind told me he works at a music store. Sounds fun"

"I call my girl Attila because she's my Hun."

"If you fall I will be there - Floor"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? Three. Two to complain about it and one to light an organic scented candle."

"I Wasn't Too Keen On The Idea Of Gay Parenting Until I met my wife, who was raised by two dads. That's when I came to my senses and realized.. NO MOTHER-IN-LAW!"

"What's the difference between a gynecologist and a pedophile music teacher? The teacher fucks his singers, the gyno sucks his fingers."

"All I wanna do is *gun shot* *gun shot* *gun shot* *cash register noise* *goat sounds* *mousetrap explodes* wake up from this weird dream."

"Each one of us has a secret. My secret is that I can't keep a secret. Also Jill is a lesbian."

"If you legally change your name to 'You're Free to Go' then it's impossible to get arrested."

"""Honey, the baby sure is fussy. Why don't we go see a movie after we goto a nice, quiet restaurant?"""