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Joke of the Day

"""Honey, the baby sure is fussy. Why don't we go see a movie after we goto a nice, quiet restaurant?"""

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef but you can't pee soup."

"Q: Did you hear about the incompetent lumberjack? A: He just couldn't cut it, so he was forest fired."

"at any given time the urge to sing ""the lion sleeps tonight"" is just a whim away a whim away a whim away a whim away"

"Why couldn't the Jedi open the door? He didn't use enough force..."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an irish family? None"

"When I die I want the people I did group work with to lower me into my grave So they can let me down one last time"

"My first time having sex was like my first time riding a bike... My dad was holding me from behind..."

"Oedipus Complex Like father, like son!"

"How do Polish dogs get bumps on their heads? Chasing parked cars."