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Joke of the Day

"What's a machinists favorite song? Turn Down for What!"

"ATTENTION: We will be performing live power tool identification exercises today. This is not a drill."

"Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza"

"What do you call a smart ant ? Elegant !"

"Where do theatrical cats wear their gloves? On their... Dramatic Paws"

"A man tells his friend his wife broke up with him and has full custody of his kids... His friend says: ""I feel so sorry"" The man says: ""I feel worse for the kids"""

"Two WWE fans walk into a fight club They promptly get the shit beat out of them. Moral: Just because it's ""good"" entertainment does not mean an RKO will help you win a real fight"

"A wise man once said that nothing really dies, it just comes back in a new form Then he died."

"Well, I've been clean 6 days now. This 'showering' thing is amazing."

"Assuming Twitter is legally binding, when I die, please wrap me in a giant ball of burrata as this is my greatest wish. Thank you."