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Joke of the Day

"me: ""4,000 for a beehive?"" salesman: ""sir, there are 8,000 bees in there, that's only 50p each"" me: [checking my wallet] ""give me 3 bees"""

"Q: What's pink and red and can't turn round in a corridor? A: A baby with a javellin through its head."

"I'm so old... ...my organs are harpsichords."

"""Time heals all wounds ;)"" - Rattlesnakes"

"Gang tip: If a rival gang tags their symbol on your turf, don't cover it. Add a drawing of Calvin peeing on it. Now who's stupid? They are!"

"Contrary to the rest of America, Twitter runs on drunken."

"The last item on my bucket list is dying. How convenient."

"Didn't u hate it when as a kid u got the ""mystery flavor"" lollipop & the mystery ended up being that your parents got divorced (Or lemon)?"

"What are two things you can't give a black person? (Semi racist) A black eye and a fat lip."

"What happened to the adhesive suicide bomber? He glue up."