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Joke of the Day

"Some day, I will meet a woman who loves me for who I am and supports all my dreams. And I'll think, ""Something must be wrong with this one."""

"Christian men should have sexual orientation listed as bi... ...because they love Jesus"

"Q: What's the best place to photograph Clinton Administration officials? A: A police lineup."

"Where do you get a dog license? At the DMV (Department of Mutt Verification)"

"At the store: Sir, do you have cotton balls? Look, if I had cotton balls my kids would be plush toys!"

"Q: What does a wicked chicken lay? A: Deviled eggs."

"Your honor, if you watch the tape in reverse you can clearly see the officer planting the evidence in my vehicle."

"On talk shows, whenever the celebrity guest takes a casual sip from their branded mug, I like to imagine it's full of blood"

"In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time. 10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends. Stay in school kids."

"A MAN IS WALKING BY A TRASHCAN AND SMELLS SOMETHING BAD He was relaxed to find it was just an indian"