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Joke of the Day

"Where do you get a dog license? At the DMV (Department of Mutt Verification)"

"I heard women love a man in uniform. Can't wait to start working at McDonalds."

"How do Jewish mothers prevent wrinkles? Oil of Oy Vey."

"People think having 5 sets of grandparents rules as kid on Xmas, and it does, but you pay for it on the back end having to go to 97 funerals"

"When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, ""DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!"" People always clap when she wakes up."

"I would tell a mexican joke.. I would tell a Mexican joke but that would be crossing the border.."

"I gave up trying to learn geometry just couldn't see the point."

"Did you hear about the crowd of Catholic priests at baby Gap? The sign in the window advertised ""Little Boys Pants Half Off!"""

"What are a terrestrial planet's favorite genres of music? Rock and Heavy Metal"

"Drake started from the bottom. Of Darwin's evolution chart."