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Joke of the Day

"A MAN IS WALKING BY A TRASHCAN AND SMELLS SOMETHING BAD He was relaxed to find it was just an indian"

"What do you get if you put morphine on your toast? Crumfortably Numb!"

"Wanna know what makes me smile? Face muscles."

"So a guy walks into a bar with a gun... Who had sex with my wife!!? A man shouts from the back, *you don't have enough bullets bro*!"

"Really Speedo Guy? Things aren't bad enough in the world already? You've got to display to the whole beach that you're hung like a Tic-Tac?"

"I ran into my ex the other day... Then I put the car in reverse and backed into her again."

"I don't mind getting the stink-eye when I say, ""Happy Whatever Holiday You're Weirdly Touchy About,"" because THAT is the spirit of Whatever."

"How do you turn a fox into a cow? Marry it"

"There are two types of people, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data"

"[stop light] It will turn green in 5 4 3 2 1.. And Now It Will Turn Greeeeeeeen *turns green* Ah yes nailed it."