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Joke of the Day

"(UK) Did you hear about the new brand of shampoo for pikeys? Go 'n' Wash"

"Which stretches further, human skin or rubber? Human skin! The Bible tells us Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked forty miles."

"Describe yourself in three words. Lazy."

"Why isn't Spiderman in the Avengers? Because a black widow has no husband."

"What does Santa Claus call his more thuggish elves? Gangsta wrappers!"

"No wonder Satan hates humanity... We draw him as the ugliest goat alive"

"""Dad I want to be a feminist when I grow up"" ""Well, pick one honey, you can't do both"""

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because the neckbeard put on the wrong pair of socks this morning."

"""Ohana"" means family, and family means that no Monopoly game can ever finish well."

"I'd like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I'll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don't (you know why)"