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Joke of the Day
"The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself ""This changes everything."""
Next Joke
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"When I was getting a prostate exam, I asked the doctor where I should put my pants.. ""Over there, beside mine"" was not the answer I was expecting."
"People who leave their underwear at parks are either awesome at sex or terrible at dressing raccoons."
"I'm 40 and my girlfriend is 20. We were at a bar tonight and people kept giving us dirty looks. Totally ruined our 10th anniversary."
"[on a first date] ""Have [gestures across the whole menu] whatever you want. I hear the McRib is particularly excellent this time of year."""
"A Freudian slip? That's where you think one thing but fuck your mother."
"Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!"
"my girlfriend hates orgasms when ever I give her one she just spits it out."
"I found out the prostitute I picked up was a dude in drag. I decided I didn't want the trans action."