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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a post that's not a joke into /r/jokes? Like this."

"I turned into a cat earlier Don't ask meow"

"I'm just waiting for the right person to come along and mistake my crippling pessimism for an attractive sense of humor."

"Why does Bob Ross not use a condom? Because he doesn't make mistakes, only happy little accidents."

"What's 12 inches long and white? Nothing."

"Why can't you differentiate liberal arts majors? They have no function."

"What is the difference between a mechanical and civil engineer? The former builds weapons, the latter targets"

"Another ""Priceless"" joke. Vodka 19.99. Motel room 64.99. Condoms 9.99. Finding out she swallows and likes it in the ass? Priceless! Fuck Mastercard, it pays to Discover"

"Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice? The Spanish Inquisition."

"To convince my boss that I'm keeping busy, I periodically yell ""YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?"" into my phone, then slam down the receiver."