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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I run alongside trains, tearfully waving, just so people will think I have a girlfriend."

"How do you make a dog smile? Suck its dick."

"BRAIN: you need to let loose a little, have some fun ME: rainbow colored goldfish crackers it is"

"Hey, I have an idea. Instead of complaining about your auto-correct every day, how about going into your settings & turning it the fcuk off?"

"My old best friend ran off years ago to pursue his dream of becoming a mime... I haven't heard from him since."

"In America, you're the bomb is a complement. In Iraq, you're the bomb is the argument."

"I think the same thing every time I pass one of those ""slow children"" signs... MAN, does this heroin make my skin itch!"

"I hate it when people beg for likes, like if you agree?"

"it's party time let's dance !"

"What is the Earth's most juvenile lake? Lake Titicaca of course!"