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Joke of the Day

"Archaeologists have discovered a mummy in Egypt encased in chocolate and surrounded by hazelnuts They are calling it ""The Pharaoh Rocher"""

"Learning to ride a bike is like losing your virginity... No matter how many years go by, you never forget the feeling of your dads hands on your shoulders as he pushes."

"I'm glad I'm not invited to Joan Rivers' funeral. She might be cremated and I hate the smell of burning plastic. Too soon?"

"A guy is driving home thinking to himself.... if I was in a joke right now, what would the punch line be? Long story or short, he gets in a car accident and dies."

"How do you know which bear to talk to in a bar? You have to read ursine."

"A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a salad The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve food here""."

"Tit for tat My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, ""Well Shona? Do you think you'll be next?"" We settled this quickly once I started doing the same to them at funerals."

"I hear that in Star Wars VIII they're going to introduce Han's perpetually depressed younger brother. His name is Y Solo."

"I once stood 2 Twix bars up. Allahu Snackbar! (It was originally ""Allahu Akbar"", but u/Disagreeing_Man made it funnier.)"

"Today as a Random Act of Kindness, I wore a really tight sweater to work."