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Joke of the Day

"Why don't astronauts keep their jobs very long? Because as soon as they start they get fired."

"When it comes to music..... Nobody beats The Jackson 5. Except for their dad. That guy beat the shit out of those kids."

"18: I'm going to ask the stylist what color screams parental issues. Me: ..."

"I just joined a Tourettes Club took 5 hours to get sworn in..."

"Did you hear about the new Marty McFly movie... ...Where he travels back in time to become a florist? It's called Back to the Fuschia."

"*trying to awkwardly start a conversation with my barber* I ALSO like scissors."

"""prepare for battle"" they said Yet they didnt prepare themselves"

"The definition of Baroque: A time when there is no Monet."

"Did you know that if Hillary Clinton is elected as the U.S. President, she would be the first president to have ever slept with another president."

"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny."