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Joke of the Day

"Today as a Random Act of Kindness, I wore a really tight sweater to work."

"You know why you shouldn't eat spaghetti late at night? Because it'll keep you up Pasta you bedtime."

"What's a golf club's favorite type of music? Swing!"

"I'm not sure if Steve Jobs got into heaven... God's a bit touchy about apples..."

"*nudges widow at funeral* are you thinking Arby's"

"""She lived a long, long life. And saw basically nothing."" - eulogy for a cat"

"Love is grand Divorce is a HUNDRED grand..."

"Ever heard of a game called Polish Roulette? It's like Russian Roulette except all the chambers are loaded. edit: ""chambers,"" not ""barrels"""

"[Joker has Robin tied up] ""If you want to see the Boy Wonder alive, come to the old-"" ""Nope. Also he's allergic to peanuts. Like real bad."""

"I opened my closet, looking for my boots. And there they were... Gone! (as told to my by my Bella-Russian-Canadian (and redditor) friend)..."