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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a baby politician cry? How do you make a baby politician cry. Take away his slush-y fund."

"Nice being home from work so I can finally continue sitting only now it's in a slightly more comfortable environment."

"Who's this ""moderation"" character people keep telling me to drink with?"

"I think I just made the best dad joke ever. My son Robbie asked how he should get Poe into his X-wing toy. I said Wedge him. I had no one else to tell."

"I like my women with curves. Lots and lots of curves. In a sort of spiral shape, maybe with ketchup. Curly fries. I like curly fries"

"My girlfriend wanted me to tease her so I was like ""alright fatty"""

"Knock knock Who's there? The pastor The pastor who? Open the fucking door goddamit, there's a crazy white man with a gun, let me out!"

"Neighbor may have just called the cops after hearing me yell at the cat for stealing my cheese bread"

"The judge gave me 7 days to live... So I shot myself. The doctor gave me 4 months. Problem solved. B)"

"Lovers joke When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."