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Joke of the Day

"The judge gave me 7 days to live... So I shot myself. The doctor gave me 4 months. Problem solved. B)"

"Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?"

"I think my wife has a habit of walking in her sleep Every morning I find her sleeping in someone else's bed."

"All these recent David Cameron jokes have left me with a bad taste in my mouth."

"What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? bison"

"The tv remote fell under the bed so I guess it's TBS, on an uncomfortably high volume, for the next 5 years."

"It's a good thing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wore masks, or people might have recognized the 4 giant turtles at their day jobs."

"me on my first date: ""for me to continue this relationship you need to choose correctly"" [i pull a frog & a lizard out of my pocket]"

"What do you call a Punjabi fellow stuck in the middle of a shark-filled ocean? Amandeep trouble."

"Why did the caveman not take Viagra? Because he was rock hard."