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Joke of the Day

"""Um guys wait seriously you guys I feel like we should be going the other way they're shooting at us? Um guys?!"" --horses going into battle"

"I used to have a friend named Frank... Until one day I asked him: ""Can I be Frank with you?"" Now I no longer have a friend named Frank."

"So there was a fish swimming up stream and it runs into a wall... And it was like ""damn."""

"First Monster: I'm so thirsty my tongue's hanging out. Second Monster: Oh. I thought that was your necktie!"

"I've easily spent 12% of my life chuckling at my own jokes and being grossed out by my own body. Also, I like random percentages."

"From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks? You. Why I oughta...! Edit: Wow, thanks for all the love. My son is quite the character and he really caught me off guard with this!"

"What is a dentist's favorite dinosaur? A Flossiraptor! I'll just show myself out..."

"I'm beginning to think that Judas Priest might not be a Christian rock band."

"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason."

"Why can it be so annoying to drive a Skoda? The Czech engine light is always on."