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Joke of the Day

"From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks? You. Why I oughta...! Edit: Wow, thanks for all the love. My son is quite the character and he really caught me off guard with this!"

"I love using those really powerful bathroom hand dryers, because I get to see what it would look like if my hands went skydiving."

"A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich... After finishing his meal, he tries to pull out a gun, but the owner shoots him dead because he's seen this joke on /r/jokes a hundred times."

"Some people say , well I'm glad I'm not as crazy as Jon . And I'm like glad I'm not as crazy as the people in the loony bin . The people in the loony Ben are like.... I'm glad I'm a squirrel."

"When I die I want my body to be donated to science Specifically, a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life."

"The Supreme Court is like regular court but with sour creme, guacamole and extra cheese."

"What are the chemicals in a midget's body that make them happy? En-dwarf-ins"

"What do you call a spider that likes 80s music? A Durantula."

"What has 3 arms, 1 hat, 2 shirts, 1 jacket, 1 scarf, 1 gun, and 4 ears? The Tchernobyl cowboy."

"A dorito asks the doctor whether or not he's done the DNA test to his son yet.... The doctor responds, ""Yes, I'm afraid he's NACHO son."""