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Joke of the Day
"Got so wasted last night, had to take a train home. And now I can't figure out how to return it."
Next Joke
"I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles, my next crap could spell disaster!"
"Why did the greek philosopher break in two? He was made out of Plato"
"What do you call 6.02*10^23 butts? Molasses"
"Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids? Every time his wife gets hot, he smacks her with a shovel."
"Splinters are woods way of sexual assault They can go deep inside you, and the bigger they are, the more it hurts."
"*comes home from work *wife jumps in my arms *sees I'm crying wife: Why are you crying? me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack"
"[getting a haircut] BARBER: anything else? ME: cut me BARBER: what? no ME: like sweeney todd BARBER: i'm no- ME:make me into a pie"
"At Dairy Queen: Me: Medium Heath Blizzard please. DQ: You wanna spoon? Me: Sure, when do you get off?"
"Cowboy: Give me 3 packets of condoms please. Cashier: Do you need a paper bag with that sir? Cowboy: Nah... She ain't that ugly."