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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids? Every time his wife gets hot, he smacks her with a shovel."

"What stops rape every time? Consent"

"Whenever my mum tells me to budget wisely, I remind her that she spent 80 on a dog coat. And we don't even have a dog."

"Thanks to whoever invented the mute button, because I can poop while on a conference call."

"A blind woman once told me.. A blind woman once told me I had a nice girth on my cock. But I think she was just pulling my leg."

"People used to be much smaller. WWII people were a foot shorter. Medieval people were basically hobbits. Jesus was the size of a cat."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? a rip off"

"Remember... You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends nose."

"There is no point of running away form a sniper. You will die from exhaustion."

"A joke is like a frog.... when you dissect it dies"