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Joke of the Day

"I feel like Donald Trump and Bill Clinton have a $1 bet that Trump can make Hillary president and Bill can make her not president."

"What do pelicans eat? Anything that fits the bill."

"What's Sarah Jessica Parker's favorite dance move? The Neigh Neigh."

"Have you ever wondered why Severus Snape taught Potions and not Herbology? It's because his Lily died."

"""Git yer cotton pickin hands off a my gin."" -Eli Whitney"

"Volkswagen are a bunch of cheats... Audi you think they Passat their diesel tests for all these years? They would have never Beetle their CCompetition if they hadn't."

"I used to work at a public swimming pool But I got fired because every time I saw an Islamic family I pointed to the no bombing sighn"

"How much do flying broomsticks cost at Hogwarts? Quid each."

"What do you call a story about a broken-down computer mouse? Depressing. \**crickets**"

"Where do South Africans buy their pastrami and salami? At the Nelson Mandeli."